Striving to Attain Your Blessings

Ya Allah,
I don't want my Iman to be incapacitated
by this worthless excitements
and ephemeral satisfactions
in this age of paradoxes
of all the bad things I have seen before,
it gives me that nerve,
with my back against the wall.

Ya Allah,
I am still weak,
5 years ago I made a lot of mistakes,
Now that I am improving myself,
I still find it extremely difficult,
I cried a lot,
I grumbled a lot,
I got easily ruffled at times,
I refused to stop,
and here I am now,
striving to attaining Your blessings and forgiveness.

Ya Allah,
How can I be steadfast in Your way
if I don't give my best in Da'wah,
of course to myself first and then the Ummah.

Ya Allah,
Whenever people utter the word, Heaven,
I feel motivated,
and once the word 'Hell' comes in,
I get scared, I can't control my anxiety,
my heart is pounding relentlessly,
I don't know whether I am on the list,
of those who are chosen to live in that felicitious abode,
or accursed residence.

Ya Allah,
I know You hear my prayer,
in this such predicament,
I don't know where to go,
but to turn back to You in repentance,
asking for Your mercy,
so that tomorrow when I wake up,
I can stand up strong,
and ready to continue living in this universe....

"Allahuma maghfir lee, warhamnee, wahdinee, wajburnee, wa 'afinee, warzuqnee, warfa'nee." [At-Tirmidhi]

O Allah forgive me, have mercy on me, guide me, support me, protect me, provide for me & elevate me.

- Nabil Farabi Shaker,
12:43AM, Kuala Lumpur
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